The Best Ways to Support a Recovering Alcoholic
The repercussions of alcoholism affect friends and family, as well as the alcoholic themselves. It eventually begins to dominate every interaction, relationship, and aspect of life. There is a huge amount of pressure on loved ones to provide support and to help, but they may not know what to do.
How to support a recovering alcoholic:
- Educate yourself on addiction and recovery, including topics like triggers, enabling, health issues, and psychological changes caused by addiction.
- Prepare for extended problems like financial issues, health problems, relationship problems, and relapse.
- Keep expectations reasonable, and avoid disappointment. Rehab is not a cure-all, and progress takes time.
- Make changes to support recovery and a sober lifestyle. Avoid social gatherings where alcohol will be present, find sober activities to do, and remove addictive substances from the home.
- Find support for yourself, so you are not overwhelmed with responsibility. A strong, sober network will help everybody stay on track.
- Do not take on more than you can handle emotionally, financially, or with responsibilities like housework and childcare. Over time, this can build resentment.
- Continually encourage attendance to support meetings and therapy, and other recovery gatherings, like recovery alumni events and meetings
- Have discussions about expectations when emotions are neutral, and everybody is sober and ready to talk, to avoid misunderstandings and make sure limits and boundaries are clear
If you suspect a relapse:
- Express your worries in a non-judgmental way
- Suggest they contact their sponsor, therapist, or attend a support group
- Consult other loved ones to see if they share your concerns
Educate Yourself on the Disease of Addiction
Detox and rehab are the critical first steps, but recovery is a lifelong process. When a loved one is struggling with addiction, it’s very important to educate yourself on addiction and alcoholism so that you can relate to their struggles, be able to give support, and help avoid any chances of relapse. Recovery can be one of the biggest challenges in a person’s life.
Some of the big issues associated with recovery are:
- Triggers
- Enablement
- The recovery process
- Psychological changes due to alcohol and addiction
- Health issues
After rehabilitation, individuals may change their goals, behavior, and expectations, which can expose underlying issues in relationships. Friends and family of an alcoholic will need to be prepared for these issues to be able to provide support and avoid unnecessary conflict.
Do Not Enable Addictive Behaviors
As difficult as it may be, one of the most caring things you can do for somebody with an addiction is to set firm, unbreakable boundaries, and enforce them. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to allow them to violate the boundaries “just this once”, as this will establish a pattern of being able to get away with the behavior. Enabling an alcoholic is not helping.
Enabling an Alcoholic Can Look Like:
- Making excuses or covering up for their behavior, or ignoring sneaky behavior
- Blaming others for the addict’s behaviors
- Buying drugs or alcohol for them, or taking the drugs or drinking with them
- Interfering with law enforcement or other authority figures
- Allowing the addict to financially or emotionally exploit you or others
- Taking over their responsibilities, like childcare or housework
- Prioritizing the addict over yourself and others
Enabling is a habit that must be broken. If you notice something seems off, talk to others to see if they feel the same way. Stop lying or covering for the addicted person, and don’t allow fear of losing them or provoking them to run your life. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and others, and not putting an alcoholic’s behavior over the health and safety of everybody else.
An addict needs to face the consequences of their actions. Stopping enabling means making tough choices, and it will be difficult, but it is the right and caring thing to do.
Help With Avoiding Addiction Triggers
Addiction triggers are different for every person, depending on their history, their mental well-being, and where they are now. A trigger can cause a “fight or flight” response, distress, and compulsions, or a feeling of hopelessness or despair.
Addiction triggers may include:
- Celebrations, holidays, and parties
- Boredom or loneliness, feeling misunderstood
- Relationship or work problems
- News stories, or something depicted in a book or TV show
- Untreated mental illness, trauma, or abuse
- Trying to relax at the end of a tough day
- Emotional distress, conflict, feeling unsafe, or a loss of control
- Memories, or being in a specific place
- Feeling judged, attacked, or invalidated
An important part of any recovery is a continued treatment plan. Healthy coping mechanisms are learned in recovery but putting those plans into place in the real world may take extra support.
Peer groups, counseling, and therapy are extremely important in helping addicted people through these moments in their lives, to avoid relapse. After detox and rehab, an outpatient program, and sometimes staying in a sober living home are the best options for a continued connection with a sober community.
Outpatient Treatment and Aftercare at Pacific Manor
At Pacific Manor, we offer the skills, therapies, groups, and community needed to be confident, remain sober, and practice new rehabilitation skills in real-world scenarios.
Every person is different, with different timelines for recovery. At Pacific Manor, patients are encouraged to stay in aftercare treatment as long as they need, so they will feel supported and confident when returning to everyday life. Outpatient programs are for those not experiencing physical withdrawal symptoms and are best suited for highly motivated individuals who have completed a residential rehab program.
Our Partial Hospitalization Program is an intermediary step between residential rehab and outpatient rehab, where there is a balance between clinical care, and personal responsibility. This is where a patient will learn skills toward a long-term, sustained recovery when presented with real-life challenges.
Our Intensive Outpatient Program is recommended after completing our residential treatment program. There is plenty of freedom, with the patient returning to a normal daily routine, while continually working on their sobriety with group and individual therapy. This program creates opportunities for positive friendships with other people in recovery, which will give alternatives when presented with challenges or triggers. If a person with an addiction does not live near a Pacific Manor facility, they can participate in our Virtual Intensive Outpatient Program, where meetings and therapy occur online. Whatever the individual need is, there is always support available.
Pacific Manor offers a voluntary alumni program as well, with activities like reunions and group outings for the opportunity to forge sober friendship, mentorship, and a lasting support system.
If a person overcoming addiction feels they need a more structured lifestyle, with rules and requirements, and additional recovery support, a sober living home may be a good choice. There, they can prepare to live independently, while reinforcing the lessons learned in recovery, with enforced drug testing, house meetings, and support like therapy or clinical care. This type of structure will help with avoiding and coping with triggers.
Supporting an alcoholic can become emotionally taxing and is a big responsibility. Not only is outpatient treatment and aftercare important to the addicted person, but it’s also beneficial for family members and loved ones too. Through the Pacific Manor outpatient and family programs, you will gain the tools to become an ally in your loved one’s continued recovery process and give you the knowledge and support you need through friendships, counseling, and therapy. (888) 300-4370.
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